butttom:

*puts condom on my finger before fingering myself* you never know


fivefootfuckyou:

sh4dows:

some authors could really use a “plot twist limit” or a “you’ve killed too many characters already” notification you know

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evilblogger:

online shopping

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thesquirrelisonfire:

I STILL HAVEN’T FOUND MY BERRIES

thesquirrelisonfire:

I STILL HAVEN’T FOUND MY BERRIES

(Source: pleatedjeans)


animepresident:

the sims is a game i can play for like 3 days and then i don’t want to touch it for several months


mormondad:

real life high school advice:

  • dont slack 
  • be friends with everyone 
  • kiss ass like there is no tomorrow

lunarthirteen:

disparatre:

Girls who don’t receive romantic/sexual attention from boys blame themselves

Boys who don’t receive romantic/sexual attention from girls blame girls

This.


skimcheese:

caaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaas:

madeagoestohell:

unexpected pregnancy is actually so weird like you can accidentally make a person 

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I JUST SPAT OUT MY WATER

(Source: emojigrl)


kydey:

Attractive 14 yr old s are the enemy


kawaiigod:

i swiped my card at mcdonalds like please GOD! if youre real let this transaction approve and it did and i was like well i need more proof thanks though

(Source: zootedboy)


gameangels:

Oh—it’s you. It’s been a long time. How have you been? I’ve been really busy being dead. You know, after you murdered me.


teenscoolest:

why cant i cry money instead of tears


adamusprime:

i want to believe the egg stunt was actually super rad and this person is bitter about it

adamusprime:

i want to believe the egg stunt was actually super rad and this person is bitter about it


patrickthomson:

this is your periodic reminder that old-timey medicines did not fuck around

patrickthomson:

this is your periodic reminder that old-timey medicines did not fuck around


lazypacific:

i hate guys who judge breast-size. i mean, we can’t all be boobzilla.